Hollywood has plagued us with two major trends over the past decade: increasing prices inversely proportional to the amount or quality of offering and a complete lack of imagination demonstrated by a seemingly never-ending release cycle of (usually sub-par) remakes. Now I know a lot of people out there (mostly in the “Hollywood biz”) are saying “well if you think they’re doing such a bad job, why don’t you come up with something new?” And quite simply, because I never said I could come up with anything new and fantastical, nor am I in the business of doing so, and much less so demanding that you pay me more while I give you less! So what does all of this have to do with Psycho Killer Clowns? Well, let’s move on to that…

Stephen King is quite possibly one of the greatest horror authors of all time. He has also played a very large role in my obsessive disdain and fear of clowns throughout my childhood and even into present day. The made-for-TV adaptation of King’s novel, “It”, remains one of my favorite horror flicks of all time! As such, it only makes sense that I would love to see this released on blu-ray. So I set out in search of a possible release date only to find, not a release date, but rumors of yet another one of Hollywood’s planned remakes. While there is no official release announced yet, there are plenty of rumors pointing to a 2011 appearance. Stumbling across this news has made me, both, giddy with a bit of sadistic joy, as well as quite worried. I would love to see this movie adapted to a theatrical film and inevitably a blu-ray release, but worry that I would end up hating it even more if they ruined the original as most Hollywood remakes tend to.

Warner Bros. has signed on to go forward with David Kajganich screen writing and acting as director on this touchy epic reboot. The fact that Kajganich seems to be a rather unknown character and new face lent itself to my growing skepticism. Additionally, the guys at SlashFilms are predicting that Warner Bros. will most likely try to cut the originally three hour TV series down to a two hour movie. This greatly disturbs me, as there is no way they can manage to maintain enough of the original’s sanctity while cutting out an hour of it. It doesn’t matter what minute details they remove, the story will suffer at that drastic of a chop job! And this is a major reason why most of the remakes coming out are so crappy; because they try to change too much of the original story. It is as if they can’t come up with enough new material to warrant an entirely new movie and title so, instead, they just morph an older classic into some new horribly deformed bastardization and call it a remake.

However, Mr. Kajganich has increased his credibility with me after I came across a letter he sent to the folks over at Dread Central. Kajganich moves to assure us that the remake will definitely “be R. Which means we can really honor the book and engage with the traumas (both the paranormal ones and those they deal with at home and school) that these character endure” and maintain the utmost respect for King’s works. From the looks of it, Warner Bros. seems to at least have a writer that knows and appreciates the original work which will hopefully lend to a decent adaptation.

It will surely be a release that I am anxious to see. I only hope that it will not be yet another let down. What do you all think of them remaking this classic?

Coffee makes the world go ’round…